Any excuse is perfect, not to be here. And I say that half ashamed and half proud to be a conscious expert in evading life. With a little bit of attention, we realize that it’s on everyone’s lips. It’s a poisoned social habit, but an accepted one. That is why we must learn to observe it from the outside, finding it first in ourselves. It can be seen in impatience, in the comings and goings to the past and the future, in insecurities, in the inability to deal with uncertainty. To live without knowing what one is going to live, without plans or alternatives. To let yourself live.
Nature always seems to have the answers to all my problems, that is why I turn to her when I feel empty, when I have fallen into the error of not wanting to be where I am. She, so radiant and splendid in all her expression, welcomes me once again with open arms. She reminds me that everything is fine. “It’s all right” – I think I hear her say through the wind and the cooing of the leaves – “you thought you were lost, but you were always at home“. The trick is, it seems, to feel fully at home wherever you are.
This is the only way to honour life. Only in this way can one feel authentic and full of gratitude. This is the only way to live. The rest are decorations that we strive to put into our days because we are too busy to look at the starry night sky. We are content to see a shooting star on certain occasions, so that its mischievous spark can fill us with mystery, with intrigue. But we have had enough, we can return satisfied and pick up our distracted life where we left off.
“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit alone and quietly in a room.”
Blaise Pascal
I think I know what I’m talking about, because when I find myself fearing life, I’m disappointed. It’s my red flag, a sign that something is not right. Other times I allow myself to be afraid to live, because it has been a long day and I have danced too much with my fears, I need to rest. But rest from what? Can one rest from living? How can it be more attractive to disconnect from life, and even more so if it is out of fear? Although I enjoy the incessant little pleasures of life enormously, I promised myself that I would never be afraid of living again. Yet here I continue to surrender to fear. How much shelter, how much protection and protection one feels under the protection of not knowing. But the beauty comes when you realize it, when you are patient and persistent. The origin of everything is in being, in discovering that although you feel you’ve lost again, the door has always been in front of you, wide open.
